Too many crazy folks!

I will be leaving LA at the beginning of August and heading back to Chicago. Now I have to admit that up until 6 months ago, Chicago was the biggest city that I had ever lived in. LA is big and expensive...and full of crazy folks. I though that there were crazy people in Chicago, but ooowee! Chicago ain't got nothin' on LA. I saw things that made me sound crazy when I was describing them. And I'm happy to say that most of the crazy people are white!

I have never been afraid of the crazy people in Chicago. Most of them just have conversations with people that I can't see. I can hear their conversations and sometimes I agree with them. They gotta point. I'm OK with them because I can understand every word. A lot of the crazy people in LA though don't speak any English. Now that scares me because I don't know what they're saying. What if they're pissed off at me? I won't know 'cause they're speaking Russian or some other already scary language. And then I end up dead in a shopping cart on Sunset Blvd. No, no. I need to go back to Chicago our crazy people speak English and our mobsters speak Russian.