What I'm doing...

As I sit here, one of my cats is trying to get me to make love to her. She’s in heat and for some reason she has decided that I’m the most masculine person in the house. I suppose she’s right. I’m more masculine than my wife and I think I’m more masculine than my step-son. No, I know I am! Our only male cat is sitting across the room from her teasing her with his useless genitalia. Slowly licking his privates as if to say, “Oh, you want this?” You can’t have it! My female cat, Chocolate loves it when I smack her booty. So that’s what I’m doing. She finally has enough which means that I’ve satisfied her in less time than I satisfy my wife and she runs off. She does some squirming on the floor and then comes over and lays at my feet like a sex slave. She’s looking in the direction of our male cat with a look on her face that says, “Who needs you? This is my man.” My ego is strangely boosted at the thought of this.